Lisa described my approach to relationships as “fast and deep,” and I had to laugh—because, well, guilty. When I ask “How are you doing?” I’m rarely asking about your calendar. I’m asking about you. And even when the response I get is more surface-level, I’m usually attuned to what’s a little bit underneath the surface.
This serves me well in my coaching, but I have gotten feedback that not everyone is up for that all the time, even people I’m already close with. Fair! I’ve learned over the years to be better about reading the room and balancing breadth and depth, and I’m getting better at ascertaining and meeting people where they are.
But I do want to explain a bit. It’s not about being intense for the sake of it. It’s about starting where it matters. I’ve learned that if we’re not aligned on what we value most, no amount of polite small talk is going to get us there. So why not begin with what’s real?
I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. Some people are ready to dive right in. Others prefer to keep their toes on the shoreline, and that’s okay. I’m not craving that level of connection with everyone. But the ones who meet me in that deeper space? Those are usually the connections that last.
For me, it’s a way of honoring the people I meet—showing up as my full self, and maybe making it a little easier for them to show up as theirs.
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